What to do....

I have been struggling lately with discovering what kinds of things I could do from home to bring in some money. I am not a sales person, so selling some kind of product is not for me - I have tried it. I used to sell Pampered Chef and while I LOVED doing the shows and totally believe in, love and stand by their products, the paperwork just about did me in every time. So, back to the drawing board.

Maybe I could sew! I would love to sew! Wait... I don't have a sewing machine. Can't knit, can't crochet, not really into scrapbooking..... hmmmm. Let's change thought patterns. What CAN I do? Ummm.... sometimes I can write, but as we can see here I sure don't seem to have the time. Maybe I could work more on that. I could. I can edit. I can sing. I can listen. I can cook/bake. What kinds of things am I passionate about? Passionate about orphans, foster care, adoption, worship....

You thought this was going somewhere, didn't you? HA! I can see hear the puzzled wheels turning as you read this strange list of can-dos and passions. I am just as puzzled. I find myself asking God what in the world I can do that incorporates these things so that I can look to potentially bring in some money to contribute to our household income. Something I could do from home. Yes, I think that was the sound of a big ol' wrench that stopped the wheels from turning. He has created me with a purpose and gifted me with these talents, so He must have something in mind. He has blessed me with two beautiful little girls to mother, so I believe the "at home" piece is possible too. So now I throw it all out there to see what you have to say. Hear your thoughts and see if you might help me loosen this wrench. And if you know me and I have left something off the list, please do remind me.

OK! Forum OPEN! :-)

Reviews?

So, I am starting to think this may turn into a blog of reviews... at least for a little.

As I mentioned in my last post, I am trying out different diapers. I tried the Kidget Diapers from Family Dollar Store and while they were softer than many (more of a fabric feel on the outside), they didn't hold overnight and my sweet girl has had a rash since we put them on her. I will say that they are true-to-size though and seem to fit well. They are bigger in the waist than the Pampers Cruisers, but they were still tight enough for my slim girl. What they are lacking is the piece that keeps moisture off the baby's skin. I think this may be something only Pampers has. At least from what I have found so far. I feel I can now check this one off the list.

I am now trying out the Target Up & Up Brand of diapers. I have read a ton of reviews on all kinds of diapers and it seems that many people have a problem with the pastel blue and green polk-a-dots on the outside. Here are my thoughts on that. Who cares? Almost every diaper has some kind of pattern on them and they are going to show through fabric. Everyone knows that baby's and toddlers wear diapers, so I really don't care what the diaper itself looks like. Now on to the diaper appearance and performance. I have not yet used it over night, but from first glance the construction and feel look exactly like that from the Family Dollar Store. I have a feeling they will perform about the same. The waist is about the same size as the Kidgets and again, the Up & Up are true-to-size. My sweet girls still has a rash, but I will continue to use these until this small bag is gone. I will just put Aquaphor on her tush.

Now onto Aquaphor. If you haven't hear of this product or used it, you need to go buy it and make it a staple in your home! I think I could also write a blog about diaper cream reviews since I have tried them all.... including prescription. I can honestly say that nothing works like Aquaphor! And we use it for everything. My older daughter used to have THE worst diaper rashes. Her skin is so very sensitive. After trying every cream and seeing the pediatrician for a prescription that didn't work, we tried this. It cleared up overnight!! We also used it on the face (cheeks, nose and mouth) when we lived up north to block wind and cold. Worked like a charm! I use it on my dry feet and hands overnight and by morning, you wouldn't know I had dry feet or hands. I use it on my lips when they are chapped too. When my children get little chapped places on their fingers or face, I put it on and everything clears right up. It is a bit expensive, but well worth every penny. If you have a membership to Costco or BJ's, go ahead and splurge on the giant container. We had one on each floor of the house and in the girls' room. It lasts forever since you only need to use a little.

I will continue to post on diapers as I try them, and I think I will begin posting on other things too! Please let me know what you are wondering about. Maybe I have already tried something or am about to and can let you know the verdict! Today I encourage you to go out and find some Aquaphor. I now live in the south and never have super cold weather, but still use Aquaphor daily. Buy and enjoy!!!!

Money Challenge

Today I decided to "step away" from certain brand names that I have been devoted to for a couple of years. Pampers being one of them. I know! I have tried all kinds of less expensive diapers and really none compare. However, between the sate of our economy and our wallets, I figure it is time. So, off on a mission I went. Off to pick up a few necessary groceries for less than $19 and some change - including diapers.

While I was out, my gas tank was on empty. So I stopped to get gas and prayed that God would provide everything I needed for what was in my wallet. I was only using cash today. As I was standing in line to pay for my $5 of gas (some of it in quarters), there was a man in front of me buying all kinds of lottery tickets. Every kind you can think of. The line behind me was growing by the second and this man just kept saying, "and why don't you give me one of .... too." I was thinking, "really? I am paying for my gas in quarters and you are spending more than my day's allowance on lottery tickets? What is wrong with this picture?" Then I found myself praying for him. Maybe he had a gambling problem. Or maybe he felt more desperate than I did. Maybe he didn't have the Lord like I do. WOW! As I finally paid for my gas and headed back to my car, I held my head high, thanking God that I have Him in my life to trust and rely on. Thanking Him for the cash to get gas and whatever else I needed today. Trusting that He will indeed provide for all of my needs.

After getting the gas, I went to the dollar store for diapers. They had a coupon in this week's flyer for a brand I had not hear of and I figured it was worth a shot. Worst case is that I have to do more laundry than normal this week. PLUS, with the dollar coupon it was only $5.50!!! What a steal! Then I picked up some toilet paper and checked for milk, but they were out. I checked out and paid $8.48. Then off I went to the grocery to get milk and coffee creamer. I know the coffee creamer is a luxury, but my husband doesn't ask for anything and he is so easy-going. This I will make sure stays in the house :-)

Got to the grocery store and made a change in decision regarding milk. I have always purchased organic for my girls since the first time Abigail went to milk. However, I just can't pay for it right now. So, knowing Amanda is only on whole milk for another month or so, I went half way with the grocery store's all natural milk (no hormones) and will just have both girls on the same thing. Then I picked up the creamer and went to check out. Total = $6.09. Score!!

Then I went back home, enough gas for errands this week (I think), milk, diapers, creamer and toilet paper. All for a total of $19.57. I went out not knowing that I needed gas and God provided even that! I still can't get over that total including diapers. I usually pay $40 a box every couple of weeks! And toilet paper? Yes, I changed brands on that too. Can't believe how much I have been spending on that too!

Now I think I might start to potty train Amanda a bit early. She's ready, and I am tired of paying for diapers :-) But above all, I am so very thankful and humbled that I serve a God who is so compassionate, loving, caring and provides each step of the way. I just have to remember to give it to Him and trust. He will not disappoint! He is so faithful, gracious and merciful.

Moments

Really? It's been almost a month since I have been here? I often think so much about "blog material" during the days I guess I think I actually write them down. Darn! Lots of material now forgotten! I will seriously try to be better about it all. I know, I know. Been there, said that... but really want to try.

So.... moments. I have really been low on patience these past several weeks.... maybe even months. I used to have boat loads of patience. I don't know what it is, really. Although I have started on birth control to try to figure out what may be causing all of my discomfort since having my second c-section. That could very well be the culprit! In any case, I have noticed how quickly I just run out of patience with my sweet girls. They are so smart that I think I expect way more from them than their little 1 1/2 and 3-year-old selves can take. I am trying to make more teaching moments than discipline moments, but man is it hard. Sometime you just lose it. I raise my voice, they get upset, tears are coming from both sides and what have we gained? NOTHING! All that has happen is that we have lost a moment (or a few) that we can never get back.

Last night we were at a party to celebrate a friend who is moving back home. I was talking to the host, someone I have only met once, and we were talking about taking advantage of the moments we have with our children. He said to me, "these are times we will never get back. Cherish every moment!" He has been talking with his wife about these very same things. She is a sweet friend and a GREAT mother. She is also a stay-at-home mom right now. As I continued talking with her husband, he shared that he has a 16-year-old daughter and he thinks back to some memories with her and realizes she is now too big to have those same experiences with. However, he has those memories. He cherishes those memories and moments shared. He doesn't want to miss anything with his son and new baby girl. And he is such an encourager to really find your patience with your children, understanding first-hand how quickly time really does go by and how there is no way to get lost moments back.

Then I find out that my sweet friend (his wife) attended a seminar on "Intentional Parenting." Okay, just the name is enough to make you step back and think about what how you are raising your children, how you react to situations and what your goals are. Is it survival? Or are you in it to really teach them to love God and people? What life is really about and how to live as Christ? What are your parenting goals?

WOW! I went to celebrate a friend and in the process, God has shown me that He had additional plans in my attendance. I can say that I am MORE than excited to have a play date with this sweet friend and to hear about her 8 pages of notes from her seminar. I don't think you can ever have too much information or ideas when it comes to parenting. I am reading a book on parenting right now that I will write about when I finish and I will say that while I don't agree with everything I read (outside of the Bible), I think that anything that makes you think about the reasons why you do things and process through what really matters is worth the read. More on that later.

In any case, take some time to really consider what your goals are as a parent. How you can achieve them. And try to remember to cherish and enjoy every moment with those sweet children. It is not always easy, but I have begun praying for that very thing each morning and throughout each day. Why am I surprised by how much easier it is to take a breath and work through it when I pray? Jesus is with me and in me, and He will continue to guide me through this awesome journey and privilege. What an honor to be called to parent my two beautiful, smart, sweet girls. I really don't want to mess this up. Especially now that I am discovering what tweens and teens talk about these days. That's a story for another entry....

"I See Jesus!"

As I lay here trying to fall asleep, I am struck by a few things. I just finished watching the Hallmark movie titled, "The Note." Very sweet story of a columnist who tries to find the person to whom a note was written in the last few minutes before a plane crashed. Now I am a sucker for Hallmark movies. Especially the ones that come out during the Christmas holidays. This one struck a deep chord with me though. Really got me thinking about a lot of things.

First, this widowed columnist is about to lose her job/column if she doesn't bring in more readers by Christmas. Just as she is receiving this information, they learn that a plane has just crashed in the river. Her first thoughts were that it really puts everything into perspective. So many families just lost loved ones and didn't know it was coming. Could happen to any of us. Then as she sits by the water processing through it all and remembering deeply hidden pains of her own, she finds a note folded and in a zip lock bag containing cookie crumbs - right next to a piece of a life jacket that was from the crash. She sets out to find the proper recipient for this note. Hang with me here. I know it is just a movie, but so much can be taken from these stories!

As the story progresses, she finds three potential people (the letter was only addressed to "T" so the list became a short list quickly). As she visits each one she discovers something about herself and is able to not only be a ear for the person she is visiting, but is also to open up and let go of a tiny little piece of herself. Things that have been bottled up inside for years. It turns out her husband was killed in an accident while she was pregnant, went through a deep depression and tried to take her life - while pregnant. She ended up having a baby girl and after social services took her (because of her illness at the time and not being able to care for her), her father talked her into giving her up for adoption. She never knew what happened to her daughter, never looked for her and seemingly never really thought about it - at least on the surface. Well, I am sure you know where this is going. Come on! It's Hallmark! Just as the columnist was about to "get scooped" by a national television station, a young girl came to her and told her the note was for her. After showing her a sample of her father's handwriting she not only had proof that she was the true recipient of the note, but it turns out that this was the columnist's daughter too.

So here is why I can't stop my brain from turning. yes, this is "just a movie." But is it? Think about it. This could totally happen! Because God is THAT big. Each step was planed out and ordained by God. He is the one who causes people's paths to cross when they do and He is the one who plans each step. He is purposeful, meticulous, detail-oriented, and just subtle enough (sometimes) that you can hardly believe what just happened. I started thinking about stories I have heard over the past few months where people have discovered family they never knew existed. There was one story I think I wrote about this summer about the 70-something year-old woman who just discovered she had siblings. God has a way of bringing things and people full circle. Sometimes we don't even realize it is right in front of us.

So now you are maybe wondering about the title of this post. The girls have been very excited about the Manger scenes this Christmas season, always looking for baby Jesus. Amanda always gets so excited that she shouts, "I see Jesus!" Now that people are taking down the decorations, she still remembers where she saw Jesus. As we were driving today Amanda shouted from the back seat, "Mommy! I see Jesus!" You know what? She did see Jesus. And she sees Him all the time. He is everywhere. If we could only have that mindset all the time. To know His presence with us and around us all the time. What a great reminder for me. For us. To just "see Jesus."

Christmas Cards

Okay, so as I continue to get Christmas cards in the mail, I am starting to feel guilty about not sending them this year. Why is that? I didn't want to go through the stress of getting everyone together (and happy) for a picture, pick out the best shot, pick out a card, get it printed, update the list, print labels, stuff envelopes, seal envelopes, stamp envelopes, take them to the post office.... okay so now that I am typing it all out I am starting to feel less guilty. It is a lot of time consuming work to get these out! This year I just didn't seem to have the time. Is that bad? Am I a stinker for not making it a priority?

I just felt this year that there were more important things. As I write this I feel a bit selfish. The truth is I wanted and needed to take that time to make sure my family was cared for, my children had the tools they needed for life and discipline and to help them understand the relaxed, yet exciting, meaning of Christmas - the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. I have not done a perfect job with any of it, but I have been able to do more than I could have if I had put my mind elsewhere. So for that I am thankful!

Like so many, this time of year is exciting yet a struggle. Do we do "Christmas" like everyone else, complete with Santa, or do we figure out our own thing. I am leaning more and more toward figuring out our own thing. After reading a couple of blogs and listening to my own heart, I really don't want to go down the "Santa" road. I know this may stir some feathers, but I just don't think it is for us. I am not saying it is wrong, I just think it comes down to personal decision and what people feel is right for their families.

Like another friend mentioned, Jesus was not actually born on December 25. However, it is the only time of the year that is set aside to recognize this miraculous gift. The greatest gift ever given. The one and only gift that has freed us all from our sins, cleansed us and offers eternal life. This is something to be celebrated!

Will I decorate? Yes! I love the decorations and I don't want to give that up. I do want to have a stronger focus on the reason that we celebrate though. Presents? We will most likely continue this, but maybe tone it down.

So on that note, have a wonderful Christmas! Celebrate the birth of Jesus, all that it meant and all that it means today!!! That should be enough to excite you and make you jump up off the chair you are sitting in while reading this!

Back to Reality

Well, the girls and I have been back home for about a week and a half after taking a 3-week trip to see friends and family. So fun! I really cannot believe how great the girls were traveling. Very few meltdowns. We traveled about 3600 miles, so that says a lot.

Now that we are back home, I am faced with reality. We need to get back into a routine, Mark is busier than ever with the business, holidays are here, organization seems to be a thing of the past and the girls are really challenging every part of my being. So in the midst of getting everyone back on schedule and taming the tantrums of 3 and 1 1/2 year olds, I am also trying to rediscover myself. It seems that I have lost sight of the things that I once had a passion for. Things that gave me energy instead of draining it. I love my children so very much, but I think we all know that being a Mom is the hardest, most draining job on the planet and we all need an outlet. I am looking forward to rediscovering those outlets for myself... and maybe discovering new ones!

Did I mention that I am also trying to tame tantrums? My sweet Abigail seems to really be testing every boundary know to children. I am convinced she is actually making new boundaries - or at least trying. I feel like the most mean Mom in the world! She screamed for an hour and a half straight before finally falling asleep. And I mean at the top of her lungs, ready to throw up and I will be shocked if she has any kind of voice when she wakes up. I am so very thankful that Amanda actually slept through it - by the Grace of God. There is no other way she would have been able to sleep. My heart breaks because I sit and wonder how I could have helped avoid it. But I can't rest there. All I can do is be proactive and begin to try new things and see what works - what helps all of us.

I am moving toward disciple chart, complete with House Rules, tailored to her age. It will have to be a daily chart to start - week long charts are too much right now. I need to be able to break up each day, not rate a whole day with one score. At this point it would be too defeating. Baby steps. She has some nice/fun gifts for Christmas, but she may not get them on Friday. She has to earn her rewards and right now I am so sad that I don't feel she has earned them yet. Maybe by Friday? I also don't want to be too harsh. She is indeed 3 and there is so much going on in their sweet heads and bodies. I will be very quick to reward, but I have a feeling this will be a long road ahead.

The fun news? She is recently into Fancy Nancy and I am basing the whole chart on that! Be Respectful - that's fancy for Be Kind To Others. We can decorate, add stickers, feathers, glitter, etc. to the chart as she improves and make strides toward maintaining a happy heart! I think I may actually print out Fancy Nancy's empty bedroom and we can decorate that to view the progress. This might take the edge off the process.

I welcome any and all ideas, so feel free to respond and post your thoughts and things that have worked for you! Have a wonderful Christmas! Be blessed as we celebrate the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ.