Daddy's Girl

I know it is late for a "Father's Day" post, but I have been thinking a lot about this recently. Abi is such a daddy's girls. She always has been. As soon as he comes home, Abi is following him like a shadow - talking a mile a minute. "Help me with..., Let's go for a walk...", always wanting to know where he is and to get to him and talk, hug, sit with... you name it. While he is at work, she often says, "I miss daddy." She wants to be with him all the time. There is nothing sweeter that seeing this kind of special relationship between a daddy and his daughter.

True to form, I find it so inspiring and humbling. I think about my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I watch Abi and listen to her and think, "How did I become so far from my Father? What can't I be a Daddy's girls like she is?" How easy it is for her to think about her daddy all day long and has so much to say to him when he gets home. Why isn't it that easy for me to remember and think of God that way all through my day? I used to. And then life got so incredibly busy. However, I should never be too busy for my Father. He is the One who carries me, comforts me, leads me..... How I long to be a Daddy's girl. To be so anxious to run and jump into His lap to talk, sit, pray.... just be. To study His Word with Him. To spend every moment that I can with Him.

This is the desire of my heart. To be close to Him. I think in the midst of my restlessness, I realize even more how much time I waste when I could be talking with the Lord and discussing my life and the direction He has planned out for us. THIS should be my focus. THIS is my desire. HE is my focus.

I know many say that when you have children some things get pushed to the back burner - that there is too much going on to be able to have a consistent quiet time. I am so unsettled by that comment every time I hear it. God is #1 on the list of priorities. He needs to be. Without Him we are lost, stressed and out of control. It is a necessity to make sure you make time for Him each day. Schedule the time. Make a point to schedule a meeting with Him every day. His date book is wide open, ready to meet with us all the time... any time! He is waiting for us. For me. He is waiting for me right now. So I leave my blog now to go be with Him. My Daddy. To curl up and become a Daddy's Girl......

Restless and at Peace

The past several weeks I have become restless. I love being a full-time mom, but I am restless. I feel like I am supposed to be doing more, yet am not sure what that is or how I am supposed to fit it in. However, in a continued effort to not stress about planning I am trying to do more processing of what this all means.... personal reflection on why I am restless. Am I being prepped for something more? Is God preparing me for something new? Only time will tell, but in the mean time I remain prayerful and look forward to seeing what unfolds.

What re some thoughts running through my head and heart? Well, there is my desire to sing again, although I have been out of it for so long that I need to start practicing at home ad in the car to retrain my voice and get it back. However, my life-long passion for orphans has been on the forefront of my mind. I can't stop thinking about it!!! About the children. About how I can fit into all of that while raising my 2 little girls. I often feel guilty about thinking so much about that while I am raising my girls. But I can't turn it off! I cannot begin to express how deep my passion runs for children who have been orphaned and placed in foster care. I believe it is so important that all children know that they are not mistakes! That God has a plan for them - they were planned from the beginning. That their circumstances don't have to be who they are... that we each have the opportunity to respond to our circumstances ..... "that who are is 10% what happens to us and 90% what we do with what happens to us." Sure, those who are orphaned and/or placed into foster care may have some heavy obstacles to overcome, but they can indeed be overcome! There is nothing stopping these children from having successful, extraordinary lives. Their lives just have different hurdles than others. the bottom line is this - we all have hurdles. We all have things to overcome. But I believe these children need an extraordinary amount of love and encouragement given to them. To be raised without a mom and/or dad is so hard! To start out feeling like you don't fit in or already have the odds stacked against you - like you are raising yourself with no one to guide you. These children all deserve the same opportunities as anyone else. The same love as any other child. The same promise of eternal life. I feel it is out responsibility to reach out to these children and give them that love. Give them that sense of security, the "I do belong here" feeling.

So the prayer continues. What does all of this mean? How will this fit in? What will it look like? All thoughts that will become more clear with time. But until then, I remain prayerful and continue to live life with my family, making sure to enjoy the moments I am given with them. To be the mom and wife I am called to be. To enjoy life as it comes and to take advantage of the time that I have with my family. Life is too short. We are only given this one chance to experience the life we have been given. To remain prayerful about the stirs of the heart, to remain aware of the precious moments we are given with our families, to remain prayerful about all who do not have this opportunity - either as a parent or a child, and to be at peace with all of these blessings.

Joys of Life

I am listening to the sweet sounds of Abi and Amanda talking back and forth before they lay their heads to rest. This has become the final piece of their bedtime routine before they sleep - nap time and bedtime. I love it! It is a very sweet sound to listen to at the end of a busy day.

So much is going through my mind these days. How quickly life goes by, how many moments I miss out on each day because I am thinking about how to get everything done, how many obstacles are placed in our path daily - some high, some low, what kinds of projects and games to do with the girls hat will be educational, fun, character building...... when does the mind just rest so that we can just live in the moment! I have become so consumed with how to make life run "properly" that I am forgetting to LIVE LIFE! We get this one opportunity to live our lives and I am so busy planning that I don't have time to live! It does me no good to have the perfect plan if I can't put it into practice.

In the midst of my plan to stop planning, I have also felt the need to purge and organize. Downsize. I think my friend Jessica kind of jump started the organization and downsizing. I wish I had taken before and after pictures like she did! You would be amazed at my latest transformation!! You can check out Jessica's story by clicking on her link on the right-hand side of my page. She has an amazing story about finally reaching the other side of infertility and now shares her ongoing story of life "on the other side."

Back to the downsizing :-) I cannot believe how free and peaceful it feels to have so much less around me. If it doesn't have a place to go, it doesn't come in the room. And "on top of a surface area" does not count as "a place to go!"

And then there are the obstacles. I can't currently share all that is going on in our lives, but I think it is safe to say that there are more obstacles before we jump over the first one - it seems to be one loooonnngg jump over the miles and miles of continuous, shoulder to shoulder hurdles. However, I can honestly say that I have never felt so peaceful in the midst of the storm. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God's hand is over us, that we are "hiding in the Shadow of the Almighty," and basking in the Joy that Is and Is to Come! Mark and I have reached a point where I think we just laugh when something else comes up. Shear exhaustion? Maybe. But I think more than anything it is just another hurdle that proves that God is in control and only He can bring this to fruition - it is truly His plan. The tie-in? All the planning in the world won't change the Ultimate Plan God has for each of us. I can rest my head at night knowing that we are not in control. We can try all we want, but the more we try to take control, to more chaotic life will be and the more moments we will lose trying to figure it all out. Should be have a basic plan? Absolutely! We can't just swing from vine to vine without a care in the world and no responsibility. However, don't get too attached to the plan you make. Be ready for flexibility. You never know where this wild ride will take you. But I do know this - it will be an exciting and adventurous ride! Just don't forget to enjoy it along the way! I know that I don't want to ever think, "I wish I had just......." Take the time to enjoy and live life. I am slowly learning to live in the moment and take it all in. I have a long way to go, but I am on my way....