Waiting for an Early Baby?

After having Abi a week late and having to go schedule an appointment to be induced, the last thing I expected to hear from my doctor this week at 35 weeks was, "You are not going to make it to your scheduled c-section." Yes, progress has already begun and 90% effaced. When you go in for a regular check-up this early you don't expect the doctor to say, "Whoa! Low baby! Head right there!" We had everything planned for a week before my due date. Company in place to care for Abi, work schedule for Mark all worked out, still had 4 weeks to get everything out of the garage and into the house, not to mention organized.... you know - the list! I said to my doctor after she was telling me what would happen when I went into labor, "I was not planning to go into labor with this one." Her smiling response was, "Well, you're going to." :) If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that you NEVER rely on your own plan. I am not sure why this one seems like it should be different, but I guess I should not be surprised. God always has the perfect plan, so now we wait.

I must say, this waiting is almost worse than going past your due date. Now that the response is that no one really knows - could be tomorrow, could be 2 weeks - it is really hard! You kind of just want things to happen so that you don't have to wonder when. However, there is a plan even in this waiting period. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon, so we will see how everything is then. Life is an exciting mystery!

Here is the good news about the list. We went into the garage yesterday and found everything on the "must have it out" list! Now Mema is finishing the laundry and I am headed to make some drawer space to put the clothes. The car seat that we ordered was supposed to be delivered on April 7, but we got it the next day! I ordered it Wednesday evening after my appointment, it was shipped out ground (5-7 days) from Ohio late Thursday afternoon and arrived Friday morning at 9:10 am! We all kind of looked at it and wondered hmmm.... but we got it and we are thankful. It was the only box from that shipment that came - we are waiting for the others. However, it's here, put together and we are now ready for baby! More or less....

These are fun and exciting times. The reality is we just never know when or how things are going to happen. However, we can be thankful for the process and excited for the long awaited joys and blessings in life!

Mark and I are looking forward to having dinner out to night to celebrate our 5th anniversary. I can't believe it has already been 5 years! What a great and wonderful blessing. We look forward to some time together and are thankful that we are indeed together. There is no one else I would want to go through life with and share all of these unknowns with, so I feel more blessed than words can describe! God had a plan, has a plan and continues to work through and in us. What a wonderful thing life is!

Have a blessed and wonderful week!

Another Milestone?

Okay, I know I have been blogging a lot the past few days. Fun, right? Well here is a fun Abi story for you. This morning we read for a little bit and then went outside and played. Then we came in and she helped me with some laundry, making up the bed and vacuuming. Somewhere in there she also had lunch.

Then while we were playing on the second floor I went ahead and changed her diaper and was prepared to bring her down stairs for some more play time. Just before her diaper change, she turned her music on in her room. I didn't really think anything about it since she sometimes just likes to have the music going while we are up there playing. After that, she was kind of piddling around and I put her pillow and animals in her bed so that we were ready when nap time came about. Then I went to the bathroom, something that happens about every 15 minutes these days for me, and when I came out her door was mostly closed and she was happy. I told her I was just going to go down to the kitchen and she could come down any time or play where she was. I heard her come out of her room, run into the next room and then back to her room - where she again closed the door (mostly). After about 15 minutes of not much noise, I just went to check on her. She had gone into the other room to get Doggie, crawled into bed and her animals were over her eyes - something she has done since birth if there is too much light for her to sleep. She was also tickling her toes with the tag of one of the animals - another thing she likes to do at bed time. She heard me come up to check, looked over at me and I asked, "Are you going night night?" She looked up, smiled with thumb in mouth and I bent down to give her kisses and say, "night, night." She totally put herself to bed including turning on her music and shutting her door!!!! Too cute!

So now I am off to finish the laundry and get the blankets back on our bed so that Mark can go to bed when he gets home in about 45 minutes. He just had some oral surgery and has a bad cold on top of it, so rest is something he will be in need of.

Have a great day!

Happy Easter!

As I was slowing down last night before bed, I had some time to reflect on the day. Because of my sweet husband, I was able to go out and run some errands for as long as I needed. I ended up being out from about 11 a.m. until about 4 p.m. I had time to reflect and focus a little bit on our new bundle of joy who will be joining our family in four weeks. Life has been moving so quickly that I feel I haven't had time to focus on her.


With the first, that is all you have to focus on. Sure I was working more than full time up until a week before Abi was born, but on my days off I was able to go shopping for her, put together registries, think about all the things I would like for her to have, all the things that would make her transition easier, what colors to use in her nursery, how wonderful it will be to have her with us in the flesh. Now that number two is almost here it's not that she is any less important, it's that life has taken over. There is transition, a toddler who never stops and no time to really reflect while still awake. I feel less organized and prepared for this baby than I did for the first. I now find myself wondering, "Will I have enough love for both? Will I be able to care for them both and find time for each of them individually? Will I be able to show them both how much I love them? Will I still be able to show my husband how much I love him? Where will I find all the extra hours in the day that I need to get it all done?" I now have a more elevated, realistic understanding of why so many women forget to take care of themselves after having children. Did I feel guilty being out yesterday? Yes I did. I felt like I should be home taking care of everything, including my husband who is not feeling well and is preparing for some oral surgery tomorrow. However, I wouldn't trade that time to focus on our new daughter for anything.


I didn't get much for Baby J #2, but I did get a few things. I still need to get a few things for her but I think I can do that this week as we will have Mema's helping hands here as well. I can't wait to be able to buy her a few outfits that are just for her. To see her personality and begin to discover what God is creating her to be.


This morning as I reflect on what Easter represents, I am reminded that even though life goes by so quickly God never runs out of time for us. He always has more than enough love for each and every one of us all day, every day ..... 24/7! He is always there to hold us, carry us, love us, guide us, listen to us.... and He never runs the other way when we are whining. Instead, He holds us, walks with us, loves us even more.... Why is it so hard for me to do the same? The answer is always, "We are human." Is that really an excuse? Maybe not an excuse, but it sure does make us feel better knowing that we just aren't perfect. The reality is that I am going to make mistakes and I am going to wonder if I really should have been given these children and husband to care for - can I really do it. But the answer is always yes. God has ordained this and blessed me with a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful daughters, one whom I will get to meet in a few weeks. Because these are gifts from Him, I can absolutely do it. Will I be perfect? No. Can I strive for that? Yes. Will it be easy? No. Can I still do some things that are important to me and close to my heart? Yes, because that is who God created me to be and those are desires that He has placed in my heart. Is it okay to take time to do those things? Yes. Will it be easy? No. Will I still feel guilty? Probably - that is also part of who I am. However, I would not trade my life for anything. Every trial has caused me to grow in ways I never thought imaginable. Every blessing has made me wonder what I have done to deserve so much love. Life is hard, full of challenges and we will never perfect it. However, we have a God who sent His only Son to die on the cross for us. Jesus died for us. For me. For you. For our children. He will always walk with us and encourage us through the trials. He is also there to celebrate with us in the joyous times. He knows what is coming in our lives and has planned out each step. Because I know this, I know that some how, some way, I will have enough love to go around, enough energy to get it all done and the opportunity to do an occasional something for myself. Will it be hard? Yes. Will I falter? Of course. Might it sometimes take longer than I want? Absolutely! However, I will be stronger in the end and will have learned something that I will need for the next step in my life.

My thoughts are a bit jumbled today, but hopefully there was something in all of this that made sense.

Happy Easter!
Jeremiah 31:1-6
Romans 8:28

In Honor of Spring

Good afternoon! In honor of Spring and the glorious holiday of Easter, I have changed my template! Hope you enjoy it. I thought it looked fresh and new just like Spring, and I LOVE the white tulip for Easter. Just kind of gives a fresh start after a long Winter, don't you think?

Enjoy all that this holiday represents and be filled with Joy and Peace!

Haven't I Been Here Before?

I know I wrote a few days ago about the nesting, but I mean one would think I have never been through this before! I have not done nearly the amount of things that are on my lists each day as I am trying to be calm and take it easy, but I think it might pick up again. I have not felt a contraction of any kind all week, and since I am going mentally crazy just "taking it easy," I think I am going to pick up the pace again and see what happens! We are still on target for April 22, so I think I will be fine to hold out until then. I certainly need the time to get everything done! Now to land on a name....

With our first, we worked on names right up until Abi was born! I was in the hospital in labor (although I didn't know I was in labor), the nurse was asking the mounds of questions they always ask in order to complete the paperwork and Mark and I were there saying, "Do you like this? I like this. What do you think?" We have it narrowed down for sure at this point, much closer than last time, but I have this burning desire to get it done! So strange. I go back and forth between wanting to settle on the name ahead of time or going in with a couple and naming her once we see her. We did get a 3-D picture at the last ultrasound and a few people asked if when I saw her I just knew, but the reality is no! It's so funny. I think I am just so used to looking at the regular ultrasound pictures that it was easier for me to make things out on those than the 3-D one. Maybe I should study it some more.....

Random thought. Yes, those happen to me these days right along with the nesting :) I had the craziest dream last night! I think it is a result of my feeling unorganized and not working through my list. Here it is. I was somewhere here on earth (code for don't know where in the world I was! I didn't recognize anything around me) and I had to use the restroom (also linked to the fact that I have to go to the bathroom about every 20 minutes even through the night). I went in and had a couple of things in my hand: my cell phone and a little change purse that has about $20 in change. Yes, I do have a change purse like that which sits in a draw in the house, but why I happened to be thinking about it enough that it was the star of my dream I have no idea! Anyway, I went to flush the toilet and just as I did everything fell out of my hands, into the toilet and down they went! Well, I saw the change purse go, but not the phone. I began frantically praying, "Lord, please show me that the phone did NOT go down the toilet! Mark will be so mad!" As I continued to pray and look frantically, there was the phone! On the floor under the toilet. "Thank you Lord!" I exclaimed. I then woke up and have no idea why that whole dream came about or what happened next. So bizarre! I was going to go to a Mothers of Multiples consignment sale this morning to "shop around" so maybe that was on my mind and I was thinking maybe I would be throwing money away on things I don't need? I was only going with 2 things on my mind to get, but it is about a 30 minute drive and maybe not worth the trip right now. I have no idea, but needless to say I did not go because I am here writing about it instead :) Not to mention $20 would not have purchased what I was going for .... Too funny. It's amazing how your body works and what crazy changes occur during all the hormonal changes of pregnancy....

Okay, back on track. I was just emailing a friend who is going through this nesting phase also, but for the first time. I think I am just as excited for her as I am for us! She and her husband have gone through a lot to get to this point, and God has rewarded their trust in Him and has blessed them with a beautiful baby girl who will be born almost exactly a month after ours - almost to the day! Our girls will be a month and a day or two a part. Then I have another friend who will have a baby girl just about a month and a couple weeks after that one! I can't help to think about what I wrote about Winter a few months back, and now that we are headed into the literal season of Spring, I am writing about new life. I think about Jessica and her husband who will have their baby in about 69 days, and how long their Winter was. They refused to accept defeat and trusted that the Lord had a plan in each step of this process. They believed God would give them the desire of their hearts and they held onto that all through their super long Winter. Now Spring is in the air, in their lives and they are about to welcome new life into this gorgeous season of Spring. What do I love about Spring? Well, it is my favorite season. One day you wake up and expect to look out and see the same bare trees, brown grass, lifelessness all around but then you listen. You begin to hear the sweet sound of the birds - they are singing, setting up house, getting ready for offspring themselves and then you take a closer look at the trees and shrubs. There are a few buds on them! A wonderful sign that things are about to change, color is about to be reintroduced and new life is about to begin! A time to start all over, to breathe in the slightly warmer air, to smell the rain instead of snow and to watch God's Masterful paintbrush bring color and life to all that needed pruning and to rest. I think it is no accident or coincidence that we are all having babies this close together in this season of Spring. I see it as a reminder that we all go through seasons of the soul and there is always a Spring - a time of reflection, anticipation of what's to come, spiritual growth and the experience of fresh and new. For us it happens to include the literal "new life." God is faithful to see us through those difficult and dark times and always follows those times with Spring - a time to start fresh and begin the next period of growth or cycle of seasons.

Enjoy your Spring! If you don't happen to be in Spring just yet, take comfort in whatever season you are in. Spring is soon to come....

Nesting!

Okay, so I am not sure I really went through this when I was pregnant with Abi, but I am nesting! Yesterday I couldn't sleep because I had lists of things going through my head that I wanted to get done. What came up on that list? Here are a few things:

Get baby stuff out of the garage
Pack the toys (at least 2/3 of them)
Clean the attic
Get baby stuff out of the garage
Pack Abi's "too small" clothes
Do the laundry
Get baby stuff out of the garage
Fill out the hospital paperwork
Pack the hospital bag (yes, it's packed with the exception of the baby clothes which are still in the garage)
Figure out meals for April
Plan to make and freeze meals for April
Get baby stuff out of the garage
Pack the kitchen
Pack the rest of the house
Clean the house
Do some baking
Get baby stuff out of the garage

Do you see a theme here? Let me explain the garage. We have so much stuff packed out there from this summer and my husband is more than happy to help reorganize and pull things. The problem is that the snow is still falling!!! We can't pull anything out to reorganize because the ground is still wet and full of snow. My poor husband has to listen to me panic about getting certain things out for the baby so that we can put more boxes in and I can begin to organize for the baby! He is kind and gentle in reminding me that we still have 6 weeks before the baby and that in 2 weeks we have help coming and the snow may be gone, but I can't seem to get past it. I have this sick order in my head of how things need to be done and in what order and I almost feel paralyzed because that is the first step in my head. How do I move to the next? It hasn't stopped me from packing a few boxes, but it is still in the forefront of my head...... pull the baby stuff and get it ready. Poor Mark! He is a trooper though :)

The other catch - the doctor has told me to take it easy, limit my activity and put my feet up especially at the end of the day. How do you do that and remain sane when you are nesting? I have felt comfortable being slower today (and yesterday after talking with Mark), but I still have lists upon lists going through my head. I am looking forward to getting back into everything tomorrow! Hopefully :)

Abi is also a big helper. She was helping me label the boxes (with her crayons), tape the boxes, vacuum and put things into boxes (or pull them out depending on the box). She is so cute! We are so blessed and can't wait to welcome our new little girl into the family!

The good news - we have a coffee carafe! Why? Well, because it was on the list. See what my husband has to put up with? Craziness!

In summary, you can pray for my sweet and patient husband as I continue to "need" things from here and there and can't work through this crazy state of mind I am in :)