The past several weeks I have become restless. I love being a full-time mom, but I am restless. I feel like I am supposed to be doing more, yet am not sure what that is or how I am supposed to fit it in. However, in a continued effort to not stress about planning I am trying to do more processing of what this all means.... personal reflection on why I am restless. Am I being prepped for something more? Is God preparing me for something new? Only time will tell, but in the mean time I remain prayerful and look forward to seeing what unfolds.
What re some thoughts running through my head and heart? Well, there is my desire to sing again, although I have been out of it for so long that I need to start practicing at home ad in the car to retrain my voice and get it back. However, my life-long passion for orphans has been on the forefront of my mind. I can't stop thinking about it!!! About the children. About how I can fit into all of that while raising my 2 little girls. I often feel guilty about thinking so much about that while I am raising my girls. But I can't turn it off! I cannot begin to express how deep my passion runs for children who have been orphaned and placed in foster care. I believe it is so important that all children know that they are not mistakes! That God has a plan for them - they were planned from the beginning. That their circumstances don't have to be who they are... that we each have the opportunity to respond to our circumstances ..... "that who are is 10% what happens to us and 90% what we do with what happens to us." Sure, those who are orphaned and/or placed into foster care may have some heavy obstacles to overcome, but they can indeed be overcome! There is nothing stopping these children from having successful, extraordinary lives. Their lives just have different hurdles than others. the bottom line is this - we all have hurdles. We all have things to overcome. But I believe these children need an extraordinary amount of love and encouragement given to them. To be raised without a mom and/or dad is so hard! To start out feeling like you don't fit in or already have the odds stacked against you - like you are raising yourself with no one to guide you. These children all deserve the same opportunities as anyone else. The same love as any other child. The same promise of eternal life. I feel it is out responsibility to reach out to these children and give them that love. Give them that sense of security, the "I do belong here" feeling.
So the prayer continues. What does all of this mean? How will this fit in? What will it look like? All thoughts that will become more clear with time. But until then, I remain prayerful and continue to live life with my family, making sure to enjoy the moments I am given with them. To be the mom and wife I am called to be. To enjoy life as it comes and to take advantage of the time that I have with my family. Life is too short. We are only given this one chance to experience the life we have been given. To remain prayerful about the stirs of the heart, to remain aware of the precious moments we are given with our families, to remain prayerful about all who do not have this opportunity - either as a parent or a child, and to be at peace with all of these blessings.
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