Discipline

I do not like to discipline. I know I have to and I do, but I can't say I enjoy it. And the repetitive nature of discipline is about to drive me batty. I do not enjoy watching the children cry and I do not enjoy how I feel when I allow myself to get so upset that my blood pressure shoots through the roof and I literally explode. That does NOT a happy house make.

As I sit here reflecting on the happenings of the morning, I am thankful that we are able to sit outside as we learn to write our letters and numbers. The weather is gorgeous, the sun is out and God has completely blessed us with the most beautiful view. It is really hard to be out on the patio and have a bad attitude. it is very healing. And now I feel like we have started our day over.

As I was speaking to my children this morning, specifically my 4 year old, I couldn't help but feel that the Lord was also speaking to me. As I was telling her for the umpeenth time not to talk back, to just obey, and sending her for time out once again, I felt my blood pressure rising, anger beginning to flow, yet the Lord calmly saying to me, "Just obey." Trying not to cry while in the midst of sending Abi to time out, I thought about how much the Lord has to discipline me. And then I thought about how often He must discipline me even when I don't know it. And yet how calm He always remains in the midst of it all. How quickly I lose my patience, but expect my children to remain calm and collected. How are they supposed to learn to take a breath and speak calmly if I am not able to give them that example. Saying it isn't enough. It has to be shown to them too. This is not new information for me, but today was just another reminder of how I need to start my day differently. I need to get back to starting my day with just myself and the Lord in order to have the focus that I personally need to have patience for what each day brings. This is not something I can do on my own. I am the queen of making my own agenda, only to be frustrated and upset when my plans fall apart. My focus is in the wrong place. Even now as I type, my focus is all jumbled. I am realizing that I need to find a specific time to blog as well! To blog while trying to "school" is not completely ideal, at least at this beginning stage.

So, off the computer and on to lunch. And then some quiet time to refocus my day on what the Lord has called me to today. So here is my personal reminder for myself - Each day should have focus. The question is this - where will your focus be?