An Honest Monday

I want to begin by expressing how very much I love my children. I am so very blessed to be able to be home with them and raise them, to watch each and every step they take witness every decision, good or bad, that they make. This morning, however, I find myself longing for time alone... uninterrupted. Time to write, read, focus my thoughts, steady myself.... time to reflect with the Lord on all that He has given to and done for me. I now find myself running through the "shoulda-coulda-wouldas" in my head of how I could have better started my day. The reality is that I was tired and exhausted from yesterday's fun events with the family and I needed just a few more minutes. this is code for, "I don't know how to better manage my time so that I can get everything done in enough time to get enough rest at night." I hate feeling annoyed when my children ask for something or call my name 4 gazillion times a minute without saying anything else to me. I just long for quiet this morning.

Lord, please give me strength today. Strength to be patient, to enjoy the blessings of today, to learn how to better manage my days, to have compassion for the bumps and "ouchies" of today, to embrace the multi-gazillion times I hear "mommy?" with no other conversation attached, and help me find a place to connect .... with You, other mommies and with a church family. Help me to embrace this season of life and guide me to a feeling of "home" here where You have placed us. Help me to embrace life and renew my excitement for this journey You have called us to walk. Help me experience life, not just survive it. Renew my passions and desires. Reveal to me all that You have called me to do so that I may move forward with purpose, desire, confidence and passion. Show me how to raise my children to know and love You. Give me the ability to relish every hug and act of affection from my girls. Fill me to overflowing so that I may spread that same love onto my girls and husband. Refill and restore me, Father. Make me whole again. Thank you for giving me such loving, affectionate girls. Thank you for showing me that love daily. Thank you for making me whole again....