Days of Discovery

Do you ever have days when you realize that what you are pursuing might not actually be the direction in which you should be going? Just when I figure something out and move toward it, BAM!!! There is another wall, followed by another wall, and another...... only to then see something in that same vein done so very well. Much better than I could have ever done.

Then comes the next question - do I break the wall down and keep going? or is it time to move in another direction. Is this wall placed there as a piece of the maze to lead me to another outlet? Or is it placed there as a means to take a "moment" to polish up, refine and challenge what I thought I knew?

As I process and pray through that, more questions arise. Confusion begins to cloud everything. Here is the crucial moment where I have a decision to make. I can let defeat (confusion) take over and sink into the desert, or I can make the most out of this call to prayer and really lean into what God is asking of me. I have so often fallen into the "defeat" category and because of this, have lost sight of who I have been created to be and do. Including doubting whether I am fit to be a full time mom. Those doubts are gone. God has created me with a purpose. He has blessed me beyond belief. He has given me two precious little girls to care for and teach the ways in which they should go. So in this moment of uncertainty in knowing which way to turn, I choose to look up. To take this opportunity to fine tune the gifts I have been given. To follow a path that was only intended for me. To understand that there is purpose and to take that and grow. To blossom into the beautiful creation I have been created to be.

Throughout this current process, I have discovered that I have the gift of intercession. I have discovered that I am really good at seeing things in people and giving them ideas of how/what to create or do..... to see their giftings. I am good at looking at something and being able to point out strong points and areas of improvement. Consulting? Something that had never crossed my mind until today. I would love to meet people, talk with them, get to know them and help them find outlets.... or make improvements on what they already have. Does it make me nervous to put this out there? Absolutely! I have no real experience in this area. However, it is something I would like to work toward and see what happens. That and a bunch of other things :-) Here is the bottom line - I AM OPEN! Open and willing.

What I am most thankful for is a God who knows me and understands me. Who is so very patient with me as I seek Him to discover all He has in store for me. The plans He has had for me all along. I am thankful for his arms around me (yes, I feel them now), His gentle whispers of encouragement and love, His listening ear and His unconditional love. How blessed I am!!!!